Thursday, April 19, 2012

There Is A Light That Shines

     The other day, I needed a little something to hold onto. Just something that I could look at when I needed to focus, stop my head from spinning, remember to breathe.
     I came across the meditation "May I dwell in the awakened heart," and it was perfect. To me, it meant, may I lift myself up out of this dark, fearful, tragic place that I'm going in my head and instead be in a warm, light place.
     I wrote it on a sticky note and put it on my desk. Throughout the day, when I would lose focus, my head starting to spin, I would look at my meditation.
     Although I did a nice job writing it on the sticky note and even drew a heart on the paper, I couldn't help but think, "Hey, this quote would make some awesome decoupage!" (That was after I was out of the dark, fearful, tragic place.)
     So, last night, I made my first decoupage project. I had been holding onto a small wooden heart for years, have a big container of Mod Podge, and also kind of hoard old "Whole Living" magazines, so I had my materials. 
     I used to collage a lot as a teenager. It was my primary form of self-expression. In fact, part of one of the walls of my bedroom was covered with my collages. Thinking back, I was such a cool kid. I wish I could have seen that then. 
     I would cut out words and phrases and pictures that meant something to me, that gave me something to hold onto. Back then, I did a pretty good job of dwelling in the awakened heart. I was so aware of all of my feelings and unafraid of most of them.
     I'm glad that there's still a part of me that wants to collage, to create something out of random scraps. And I love that my awakened heart can still be so creative.

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